​Don’t Part On Angry Words

I’m sure most of you have seen the outpouring of love and solidarity from the NYPD at the funeral of their fallen officer, Jason Rivera, and have heard the powerful words spoken by his young widow, Dominique. I watched the entire funeral, sobbing from the depths of my heart at the tragic nature of the loss.

I talked to my husband, recalling the time in my twenties before he and I met, when I lived in NYC, working as an actress and model. For more than two years, I dated an NYPD officer. The pressure on the wives and girlfriends of these everyday heroes is great.

Dominique Rivera, spoke of these pressures and how, on the morning of her husband’s death, she and her husband argued. How brave of her to share that piece of their private lives. Rather than just glorifying their relationship, which began in elementary school, this bride of only three months, spoke of the challenges inherit in being married to these men and women in blue.

That morning, they enjoyed their usual routine together, until they began to argue. Dominique spoke at the funeral directly to her deceased husband saying, “We were arguing because I didn’t want you to use your job phone while we were together. You were so mad that you took your LeBron jersey down, gave me your chain and put the lotions I gave you for your ashy hands in the bag and said, ‘Here take them.’” She was so angry she didn’t want to ride with him and continue the argument so she took an Uber. She stated, “You asked me if ‘you are sure that you don’t want me to take you home. It might be the last ride I give you.’ I said, ‘no’ and that was probably the biggest mistake I ever made.”

Later that afternoon, Officer Rivera and his partner, Officer Wilbert Mora, responded to a domestic violence call in Harlem where they were ambushed and killed. Officer Rivera had held on a bit longer, rushed to the hospital where Dominique went to be by his side, but he never regained consciousness and subsequently died of his injuries. She spoke her words of love to him in the silence.

Among the many lessons in all of this, is the one about parting from our loved ones in anger. 

My father, of blessed memory, used to always say that no matter how mad you are, “Never let the sun set on your anger.” I would say to do it even sooner. We are human and we all get angry but the agony of having death separate people who left on angry words, is torture.

Let’s all do better, be better, in our communications with others. Of course we will disagree at times, but don’t let there be a sharp-tongued wedge that could remain in the silence for an eternity.

May God bless the Rivera family, the Mora family, the families of all of the slain officers, and us all.

Stay mindful, enchanted, and hopeful that peace will be defended again.

Loving hugs.