There Is No Stress in the Present Moment

​Chances are good that, as you are reading this, there is no stress in the present moment. You might have things on your mind that concern you, but likely a fire-breathing Dragon hasn’t just kicked your door in and is standing in front of you. But typically that doesn’t stop any of us from scaring ourselves with the “what ifs.”

As for me, it was the second time this year that I received a Jury Duty Summons. It used to be that if you were assigned to a group, even if dismissed without service, you couldn’t come back up in the pool for two years. Now, if you’ve been dismissed, not only can you be summoned again, but twice in one calendar year! I’m grateful to have, again, been dismissed by phone call the night before. I was so relieved not to have  to drive downtown in the pre-dawn hours to an undesirable area, wear a mask for several hours, and spend the day among strangers, perhaps several days, if assigned to a trial.

The first time this year, even with all I know to do to remain calm and in the present, my fire-breathing Dragons ran away with my imagination. I ruminated for weeks. I had to reschedule my clients, postpone a dental appointment and prepare for what I’d do if I were called and for more than one day. I had nightmares from my imagined possibilities and was so tense by the time the call date arrived. After all, I’ve been called to service before, and on the Grand Jury, which was a two-month stint!

This time, I reminded myself that I would do whatever I was called to do. Period. Not knowing what that was, I decided to wait for the proverbial phone to ring before I answered it. Every time I started to throw myself down the rabbit hole, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I wouldn’t know until I arrived at the date and time to call. I took the actions to clear that day, just in case, but mindfully struggled not to escalate my stress over the dismal possibilities.

I tell you this because, whether it’s jury duty or how you will get through Thanksgiving dinner, remember that you are only in charge of yourself. You can’t control whether or not your group will be called, or if your uncle will bring up politics or your friend’s tattoo at the Thanksgiving table.

What you are in charge of is how you choose to respond. Decide in advance who you want to be in the face of whatever comes up and maintain behaviors that keep you on that course.

Breathe. Pause. Stay in the present. Likely, the “What If” Dragons will grow bored with you and go off to bother someone else.

Have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving and know that I am grateful to have you on the journey with me.