Action Helps Heal Grief

I know our hearts ache at the grief of the devastating loss of innocent lives in the Texas shooting. We cycle through the stages of grief: Denial that this kind of tragedy has occurred again. How can it be? Anger that our children and teachers are not protected. Bargaining…the “if only” phase of trying to make sense of what will never make sense, followed by Depression, the helplessness and powerlessness that we feel. Acceptance is far down the road and perhaps should not be attained. We should never accept that this happens.

We need to grieve and cry and rail against it all and remember to live in the “and,” as I’ve said before, rather than the “either/or.” We grieve AND celebrate the joys in our lives. We anguish AND attend the graduation or birthday celebration of a loved one. Just as joy doesn’t cancel the grief, neither can the grief cancel the joy, or the Dragons win. There is a place for both.

People have been asking me how they can heal and I have found that action helps to heal the consuming feelings of helplessness to bring about change or make a difference so that these killings stop.

Action needs to take a civilized form, with a rational plan. No step is too small to make a difference. Expand the possibilities. Perhaps it takes the form of funding for a particular school to which your loved ones attend, in order for them to hire an officer. Organization of a group of concerned people to bring about change in securing the perimeter of schools, the entry/exit point, utilizing retired military and law enforcement officers for routine protection might be something to consider. What can you do?

Grieve AND also mobilize your grief to do something positive to create change.